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Jercurpac

Age/Gender: 22, Male
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Entry #15

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Jercurpac

Retro Review: Sonic the Hedgehog 2

Posted by Jercurpac Jan. 30, 2008 @ 3:13 PM EST

It may be hard to believe, but Sonic the Hedgehog was once the coolest character to grace a 16-bit cartridge. When Nintendo and Sega were both battling for the hearts, minds, and allowances of impressionable young children across America Sonic was the edgy and mature (please hold your snickering until after I'm done waxing nostalgic) foil to Nintendo's already famous Mario. A man who, ever the whore for attention, had already starred in six massively popular games, a meaty handful of spinoffs, and had popped his moustachioed visage into dozens of seemingly unrelated games for no other reason than a complete lack of anything better to do with his spare time. He's almost like the Samuel L. Jackson of the video game world if you think about it. But I digress.

In an age when platformers were slow and methodical Sonic hit the scene like a nocturnal, underground dwelling rodent, hopped up on speed, and high on the dazzling beauty of giant golden rings. You flew through levels like Michelle Pfeiffer was giving free rim-jobs on the other side of the stage for the next thirty seconds (shut up, she was hot at the time). It wasn't a straight shot across the map though. The levels scrolled significantly upwards and downwards and offered plenty of alternate paths and shortcuts for those willing to experiment. The gameplay was completely original, revolutionary, and fun as hell. No longer were you fighting turtles and slowly ambling mushroom men. Your enemies were evil robots imbued with the vital lifeforce of hearts ripped from the chests of screaming baby animals pinned to cold, steel examination tables. Okay, perhaps that's a bit of an exaggeration, but when you're six it all seems rather nefarious.

As wonderful as the original Sonic was the series didn't come into its own until the sequel was released in 1992. It was prettier, faster, fine-tuned, and constructed better than the original. Every stage was an especial and memorable experience. From the straight forward starting point that was the Emerald Hill Zone, to the addicting slot machines of the ornate Casino Nights Zone, and the cannon filled skies and sticky quicksand-like bottom of the Oil Ocean Zone. Each stage was meticulously designed and detailed. The different routes one could take were even more varied and distinct than the original's. Then, to top it all off, the music in each stage was some of the best in any game at the time. Okay, I will admit that the music in the final few levels might qualify as ear-rape, but the rest is infinitely hummable.

The controls remained mainly the same (run and jump, think you can memorize that?) except for one vital introduction. The now ever-present Spin Dash. In the original, Sonic started moving at a frustrating crawl before accelerating to a blazing blur of blue. Now, one simply had to charge up the Spin Dash and they were smashing through enemies, setting new land-speed records, and nearly out-racing the camera.

Also of note is the appearance of Sonic's young ward and star of many an eyebrow raising fan-fiction, Tails. Usually he was a useless addition resigned to tagging along and being a glutton for punishment during the bonus stages. As soon as you started doing your thing he'd get lost until you slowed down or hit the end of a stage. If you were lucky he might get a few shots in on a boss. Plug in another controller though and a friend could take control of him. Tails still had a hard time keeping up, but it was incredibly fun to have someone helping you make it through the game and giving you that extra needed support.

Future Sonic games may have upped the ante with better graphics, a lock-on cartridge gimmick, and special stages that more closely resemble an acid trip (which have always sucked, Sonic 2 included) before the series was extruded out Sega's asshole and deposited squarely in a toilet in a neat log-shaped chunklet. For me though, the best game in the series will always be Sonic the Hedgehog 2. It created a balance for the series that can only be expanded upon, but never improved; and that my friends is what makes a true classic.

If you enjoyed this retro review check out my reviews archive to read more of my thoughts on various games, movies, and more

son2_tit.gif

Updated: 01/31/08 12:38 AM Log in to comment! | Share this!

The People Have Spoken

21 Comments

Jan. 30, 2008 | 3:16 PM XxpanicwithmeXx says:

This is my Favorite "Classic" Sonic Game


Jan. 30, 2008 | 4:15 PM ShadowWest2k7 says:

2nd best sonic game on the Genesis/MegaDrive imo. Your reviews are awesome Jercupac. Keep it up! :)


Jan. 31, 2008 | 8:42 PM homor says:

i have to agree, sonic 2 was the best sonic game.

its better then sonic one because it has better graphics and a spin ball ability.

it also had tails.

the new sonic games mostly suck.

shadow the heaghog was fucking awful, it was uncontrolable and the camara was total shit.

and sonic the heghog for the 360 was also carp, it had all the problems that shadow had but with more loading screens .

Feb. 7, 2008 | 12:23 AM Jercurpac responds:

I just pretend that the recent sequels never happened. Sometimes ignorance really is bliss.


Jan. 31, 2008 | 8:43 PM homor says:

also i wasn't the one who bumped that topic.

i know i needed to be banned, but isn't seven days a bit too much?

but yeah i'll stop bitching, im sorry, the only reason im even bitching is because i didn't think you'd read my pm.


Feb. 2, 2008 | 11:06 AM Lorkas says:

I think I've just gotten a cleansing feel of nostalgia. Good ol' sonic. The Cazino Zone's music is so pure, so perfect. Makes me wanna cry.

Sonic 1 and 2 are the best. In my opinion. The third and all of the other sequels were just sell-outs, don't you think? I guess we aren't that different. Playing old games never gets old. Never.

Nintendo and other companies like Blizzard didn't do it for the money back then, they did it for the people.

Feb. 7, 2008 | 12:22 AM Jercurpac responds:

I wouldn't call the third a sellout. I have fond memories of that as well. Fighting the first boss from Tails' airplane, sliding down those gigantic vines in the mountian zone. It's just that everything they added amounted to flash. Which isn't necessarily bad.

And I think Sega and Nintendo may have done it for the money back then, just a little.


Feb. 5, 2008 | 1:38 AM knuxrouge says:

You earned a special place in my book, I love Sonic. Especially old school.

Retro reviews, I like that name.


Feb. 5, 2008 | 1:39 AM knuxrouge says:

But Sonic 3& Knuckles would have to be my favorite.

Feb. 7, 2008 | 12:13 AM Jercurpac responds:

I guess it all boils down to opinion. Whichever game was the first to get it all right for you.


Feb. 5, 2008 | 7:43 PM SupraAddict says:

I'n not a sonic fan-though i did make a game dedicated 2 him....
I STRIX AGAIN!!!!!


Feb. 5, 2008 | 7:52 PM Reed says:

hey noob mario could beat sonics ass anyday!!

Feb. 7, 2008 | 12:17 AM Jercurpac responds:

Not on Saturday, he's too busy observing the sabbath.


Feb. 5, 2008 | 9:50 PM chivi says:

Wow ! That game is pretty old.

Feb. 7, 2008 | 12:14 AM Jercurpac responds:

People get old, trees get old, the universe gets old and eventually fizzles out like a candleflame enclosed between two moist fingers.

Video games, my friend, get old school.

Updated: Feb. 7, 2008, 12:16 AM

Feb. 7, 2008 | 12:00 PM Murad136 says:

u loked my condom rap! ITS NOT FROM A DAMN WEBSITE HAHAHAHA!! TAKE THAT!

Feb. 7, 2008 | 11:23 PM Jercurpac responds:

Good point


Feb. 12, 2008 | 10:26 PM SevenSeize says:

OMG I loooved that version of Sonic. I agree the final level's music was ear rape, and when I played the boss I always muted my TV.

I miss that game so much.


Feb. 23, 2008 | 3:38 PM funkyjunky says:

Good choice of game :)
ooh and simpson related profile picture *cough mines better!*


Feb. 25, 2008 | 11:27 PM xXCostelloXx says:

Tails looks so manly


Feb. 27, 2008 | 6:49 PM kenshi2 says:

My friend and I always played sonic 2 together. I was always tails because I could not only help him, but lose lives over and over with no punishment.


Mar. 6, 2008 | 10:53 AM Truth says:

Truth was here


Mar. 17, 2008 | 12:12 AM knightsofthecircle says:

And Eggman was cool as hell back then. Now he's just some douche, babbling about random shit on Saturday mornings.

Mar. 19, 2008 | 5:59 PM Jercurpac responds:

He's Doctor fucking Robotnik and don't you forget it. I don't know when this "we have to be faithful to the Japanese version" sentiment came about, but Eggman saps any evil out of the character. A Doctor Robotnik will come into town, kill your dog, shit on your lawn, rape your sister, and perform the resulting abortion on her (without regard towards proper medical procedure might I add). An Eggman will limply come up to your door like a mild Jehova's Witness and politely inquire if you have any Chaos Emeralds that you're not currently using.


Mar. 21, 2008 | 4:22 AM CaptainRex says:

Sometimes squeals are really better than the first, i remember the first time i used the spin drive move.

Three words... WICKED.. BAD.. ASS! XD

Jerc... you remember the really BAD fucker from that one saturday morning show? Thats the guy i think of when you type Dr.Robotnic...

(can't remember what cartoon that was i'll google around for it. but it was where he was turning them all into robots and stuff, kind of creepy for a kiddie show. thats why i loved it)

And to truth: Fuck you! add some input!


Mar. 23, 2008 | 10:26 PM MrLeone says:

fuck you jercurpac yah fuckin nerdy ass faggot


Mar. 26, 2008 | 3:40 AM Eddie says:

Have you submitted your reviews to IMDb?


Mar. 27, 2008 | 11:46 AM Evark says:

I read this a long time ago and never commented. But, three weekends ago, I found myself in the pleasingly amazing situation of being at a friend's place with Sonic 2 available.

It was awesome. I'll concur that it's a great game. Though, best of all time is still Super Metroid.

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