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You know, what's always fascinated me? The way people write out their verbalizations of guitar riffs. Let's take Smoke on the Water as an example everyone can instantly play in their mind without running to Youtube. I might write out the riff as Bah Buh Dah - Bah Bah Buh Dah - Bah Buh Dah - Dah dahhhh while Little Johnny Twoshoes might do something entire different, perhaps Wah wah wah - wah wah woo wah - wah wah wah - ahh ahhh.

So as an experiment I will present you all with a famous riff (and a youtube link for the heathens who don't know it) and without looking at any of the responses you'll write it out. Don't think about it too hard, just write out the first thing that comes to mind. Also add your age, gender and country, because this shit be scientific, we're going to find correlations and shit.

Your riff is Iron Man courtesy of Tony Iommi (main riff starts at 28 seconds)

Take a moment to listen to some songs that have been scientifically proven to increase levels of merriment tenfold.

Seriously, go away.

BBM would like you to believe that he's a "Nazi mod." BBM would like you to think of him as a ruthless scum bag who uses his meager position of power to stroke his minuscule ego. BBM has run an entire campaign based on these very unfounded assumptions that he has foisted upon the people. Sure, one could say that the act of jokingly portraying oneself as something as terrible as a Nazi, the universal symbol of intolerance and violence against one's fellow man, is reason enough to cast BBM as a scurrilous character, but let us not slide down that slippery slope based on such meager evidence allow us to take in the full account of BBM's person.

Personal Life

While it is true that BBM's insistence that he is a "Nazi mod" is based solely on his habits pertaining to this forum I think it is quite pertinent to see how he conducts himself in his day to day affairs as, and I think we can all agree without further explanation, one's lifestyle bleeds into their BBS activities.

Fact: BBM is not a very regimented person. Poor sleeping habits and a an inexcusably bad taste in clothing might not be the hallmark of a classy person, but it's certainly not indicative of Nazism. In fact, the Nazis regarded strict habits and fastidious personal care as being of prime importance. It seems odd that one claiming to be a Nazi would forget something so critical to the Nazi lifestyle.

Fact: BBM loves jews and has been quoted saying as much.
- "I hope one day I can marry a nice Jewish girl, they're the best."
- "Some people may look down on the Jews, but I think they're ace."
- "Call me crazy, but I think Hitler had it all wrong. The Jews are an essential block in the social structure of our world."

Well BBM, those are certainly admirable words, but I would equate them with one who is a Nazi.

BBS Habits

Certainly by now I've proven that BBM lacks the right beliefs to be a real Nazi in the outside world, but while damning evidence to be sure, it doesn't quite address the bulk of his his claim. The basis of his campaign is that he take fascist measure while moderating the BBS. Of course BBM must be speaking truthfully on this point. We must be able to find evidence of actions that can be described as Nazi-like in his BBS history. Lets take a closer look at what makes one a fascist, especially in the Nazi interpretation of fascism.

- The belief that race is of overriding importance beyond even the individual or the state (the mod team in this instance)

Take a look through BBMs posts. Does it seem like he singles people out based on race. Does it seem like he cares that he mods along with those who have darker complexions. I've already proven quite soundly that he cares not for one's religious beliefs, so tell us BBM, why should we be considering you a nazi?

- Nationalism

It is quite clear that Nazis were more than a little nationalistic. Bringing their country to the top of the world's powers was incredibly important. BBMs "nation" would be Newgrounds and the so called world would be the internet. Does BBM have any interest in Newgrounds besides the forums. Has he submitted flashes? Only a few paltry attempts made purely for humor. Has he submitted to the audio portal? The answer is a resounding no. Does he participate in or organize contests? I think you can answer this question on your own. Clearly BBM has only a mild interest in Newgrounds and its growth.

- Draconian Measures of Punishment

This is, without a doubt, where the heart of BBMs campaign lies. Maybe he is not a Nazi in the strictest sense of the word, but he certainly embodies the modern sense of the word when it comes to punishments that don't fit non-existent crimes. If there is any truth in his claim he must be a beastly mod who will ban anyone on a whim.

To me it seems like BBM is quite modest when it comes to banning. While I'm not at liberty to divulge the secrets of the ban lists I can quite assure that the number of outstanding bans by BBM are well within reason and everyone of them are backed up quite logically. Even our even-tempered friend Sanjay has more bans than this imaginary Nazi. Once again BBM has quite soundly failed the litmus test for Nazism.

Given such powerful evidence it is hard to believe that anyone would consider BBM a "nazi mod" much less cast a vote for him as such. BBM is a fool who doesn't even know the definition of a Nazi and is quite far from embodying the ideals thereof. Don't be fooled by his lies and vote for those who truly deserve the designation of Nazi Mod.

Have you ever gone onto Youtube looking for one reason and ended up looking at something entirely different. Let's say you wanted to learn how to cook a grilled cheese sandwich only to wind up watching angry cats hissing for an hour. I can't even remember where I started today, but I've been looking at videos of terrible musicians and they're all brilliant in their own horrible, ear-piercing way. I figured I ought to share a few of the best of the worst with you.

The Final Countdown

Who doesn't love The Final Countdown? It's a cheesy eighties singalong that gets stuck in your head and won't let go. These guys look like their practicing for a concert, but I can't imagine that anyone would have hired them. The stage must have been left their for someone else and they sneaked on to see what it feels like to be a talented band that gets work.

Their keyboard is apparently a five dollar Casio set to organ and the keyboardist must have just gotten back from his first lesson with the old lady who play the piano at his church. You might not think that it could get worse, but then the singer comes in proves you so very, very wrong. He doesn't really sing the song, he just lets the words tumble from him in a monotone whine. At the very least he could have had some fun with it, but he looks completely disinterested and paces back and forth over the same three feet of stage. It's The Final fuckin' Countdown, have some fun with it. Of course it's not all bad, skip to 2:00 for a killer drum fill and face melting solo.

Are You Afraid of Death?

I wanted to give these guys a chance because it's obvious that they're putting themselves out there in front of their High School classmates and they're getting a lot of shit, but they're really quite bad. They are a perfect example of that age when you actually think you can be artistic and unique and anything you do can blow people's perceptions and change the world and they channel that into horrid noise, poor musicianship, and a sad attempt a performance art.

Alcoholicaust from Nanonucleonic Cyborg Summoning

This video is a little odd, because these two guys are obviously very talented, impressively so. They've got expensive instruments, they're well practiced, and I'm sure they spent a lot of money making this tape. It's just that raw talent is only half of being a musician. Their music is cold technicality at its worst, there's no soul to it. You can play a million notes a second, but it doesn't mean shit if your music has no heart.

Too Much Bruhd

I can't even imagine what possessed this guy to record a song, but it's hilarious and I applaud him for it. The song goes on and on and it keeps getting funnier as it goes on. From it's mysterious beginning to his haunting wails of "Pwease help me! Pwease hold my hand!" My favorite part is that he has this Glen Danzig thing going on with his voice that keeps popping up. Also, what's up with the chick in the backround, she doesn't look like shes disgusted, excited, or sleeping. In fact, it looks like shes asleep, which impressive considering the metric ton of pure metal that is being thrust upon her.

Miss Douglas County

This one is brutal to watch. This is a video of an Arizona beauty pageant in the mid nineties. This charming young woman from Arizona came up with the brilliant idea of showing off her talent on the trumpet to a medley of Star Wars songs. Unfortunately something horrible happened and she's completely off key with the recorded track. She's a trooper though and follows through with the routine instead of running off stage. It's just terrible because every time she puts the trumpet up to her mouth you know exactly what's going to come out.

Inspired by lolomfgisuck's rediculous goal of beating EVERY NES game released to American consumers I've constructed a severely simplified challenge for myself. Starting arbitrarily with Kid Icarus and ending with my all-time favorite NES game (what could it be?) I plan on beating the 107 best games released for the NES.

Why play a bunch of dusty old NES games? - Because they're awesome and they're still fresh and entertaining twenty years later. The NES was the first mass appeal system where developers truly had the freedom to bring their ideas to life. During the Atari era graphics were
minimal and game play was often limited. Gamers were forced to use their imagination to envision that chunky block as an F-1 racer.

On the NES we saw the creation of some of the most vibrant and memorable gaming experiences that are still being copied to this day. We trekked through dank caves as Samus, hopped and bopped through surreal worlds as Mario, fought insane robots over futuristic cityscapes as Megaman. Archetypes were created, game play concepts were set, genres were crafted. This is my way of paying tribute to the most important console ever manufactured.

What's the criteria for a game to be on this list? - There's not any formula that I'm running considered games through to give them a score. I'm just playing what I want to. A good deal of them are games from my childhood that I loved. The rest will be games that are generally recognized as great as well as any suggestions from the peanut gallery. Feel free to let me know what I should be playing.

Why 107 games? - It was 100 at first, but I thought it would be funny to ruin a nice even number by adding one, then I added six more for the hell of it.

How could you have never beaten so many great games - They're not "incomplete" in the sense that I've never finished them. I just compiled a list of great games that I'm going to play. Some have already been finished, some have yet to be finished, and some I've never played. Of course, I wasn't great at video games when I was little so the vast majority of these haven't been previously beaten.

<>~~~~~~~~~~~~~~Current Game~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~<>

Kid Icarus - A classic game from a time early in the NES' lifespan when Nintendo labeled the genre of every game they created right on the box (it was an adventure game). Outshined by Gunpei Yokoi's masterpiece Metroid, Kid Icarus was doomed to be one of the few Nintendo games that didn't blossom into a long running franchise. Kid Icarus was unique for its combination of upward scrolling levels, exploration sections where you moved by individual screens, and shooter segments.

<>~~~~~~~~~~~~~~Incomplete Games~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~<>

(This list is a work in progress. There are 107 games, but feel free to shit on any of the games if you think they're crummy and make any suggestions for games I missed. Just no turned based RPGs like Final Fanasy or Dragon Warrior, I can't stand them on the NES.)

1942
1943
3d World Runner
A Boy and His Blob
Abadox
Adventure Island
Adventure Island 2
Adventure Island 3
Adventure of Bayou Billy
Adventures of Lolo
Adventures of Lolo 2
Adventures of Lolo 3
Alien Syndrome
Arkanoid
Batman
Battletoads
Bionic Commando
Blaster Master
Bomberman
Bubble Bobble
Castlevania
Castlevania 2
Castlevania 3
Clash at Demonhead
Commando
Contra
Contra Force
Crysis Force
Crystalis
Deja Vu
Dig Dug 2
Donkey Kong
Double Dragon
Double Dragon 2
Double Dragon 3
Duck Tales
Excite Bike
Faxandu
Galaxy 5000
Golgo 13
Goonies II
Gradius
Gun Nac
Gunsmoke
Gyruss
Ice Climber
Kid Niki
Kung Fu
Life Force
Little Nemo
Little Samson
Low G Man
Maniac Mansion
Mappy Land
Marble Madness
Megaman
Megaman 2
Megaman 3
Megaman 4
Megaman 5
Megaman 6
Metal Gear
Metal Storm
Metroid
Mike Tyson's Punch Out
Nightshade
Ninja Gaiden
Ninja Gaiden 2
Ninja Gaiden 3
Operation Wolf
Paperboy
Powerblade
Powerblade II
Princess Tomato
Rad Racer
Rad Racer II
Rescue Rangers
River City Ransom
Robocop
Rolling Thunder
Rush n' Attack
Rygar
Sector Z
Shadowgate
Shadow of the Ninja
Shatterhand
Snake's Revenge
Super Mario Bros.
Super Mario Bros. 2
Super Mario Bros. 3
Star Tropics
Super C
Tecmo Cup Soccer
Tecmo Super Bowl
Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles
Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2
Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 3
The Guardian Legend
Uninvited
Vice: Project Doom
Willow
Xexyz
Zelda
Zelda 2

<>~~~~~~~~~~~~~~Complete Games~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~<>

Super Dodge Ball

Don't forget to check out lolomfgisuck's NES challenge. It's much more insane than mine and even if he doesn't finish it he deserves a medal for at least attempting it.

I'm going to just admit it right here and now, I'm a movie elitist. I only like to watch oscar worthy films, I generally look down on anyone who has enjoyed a movie starring Ashton Kutcher, and I would suck Philip Seymour Hoffman's cock wihout hesitation. Despite that I do enjoy getting a group of friends, getting raped for fifteen bucks on tickets and snacks, and letting go of my pretentions for an hour and a half in front of the silver screen. I don't rush to see everything that comes out, but I can usually muster up enough excitement for two or three films. This year is different. Looking at this summer's list of films I just can't find any reason to be excited. I generally expect my summer flicks to be devoid of originality, but the proverbial straw has been placed upon the camel's back. You can only force so much shit down one man's throat before he stands up and respectfully requests the you either stop it or add some tabasco sauce to mask the bile. So let's take a look at what I've declared Shit-Fest '08: The God-Forsaken Carnival of Shatered Dreams Strewn Across a Flaming Horror-scape.

Iron Man
I've heard decent things, but honestly, another comic book flick. I've taken that trip before. Sure, I had a good time, but I still have all those souvenirs, knick-knacks, and, as of yet, undeveloped photos to remind me of the good times. Comic flims can be good, but there's always this exclusionary factor (one that exists in any film culled from pop-culture) that I, as someone who has never delved into many comics, can never get over. Plus, they just feel samey to a degree that's above and beyond what I'd expect. The style, the flow, the dialogue, I'm sick of it all. So no, I won't be seeing Iron Man.

What Happens in Vegas...
Unless what happens in Vegas involes three shady latinos in a hooded sweatshirts and a busted cervix then I'm going to have to sit this one out despite Ashton's winning smile. How it haunts my dreams.

Speed Racer
Whoever came up with the idea that 80s cartoons are well suited for adaptation to the big screen must have his tongue so far up the asshole of chidhood nostalgia that he's in extreme danger of it getting burnt off by stomach acids. I honestly don't know who this film is for. Fans of the original must have realized by now that it's complete and utter shit and the people who liked it in an ironic sense aren't going to flock to a film that seriously tries to adapt for cinema. I guess studios are just willing to throw their money at the Wachowski's and their flights of fancy.

Chronicals of Narnia: Prince Caspian
The first was little more than an also-ran in the bloated category of Lord of the Rings wannabes and logic dictates that little will change the second time around. Expect unlikeable characters that are overacted to a ludicrous level and battles that have been tuned down to lukewarm.

Indiana Jones and the Milking of the Dated Franchise
I don't know about you, but I was perfectly happy with the Indiana Jones trilogy as it was. Yes, Temple of Doom was a tragic misstep, but The Last Crusade was a pitch perfect ending. Why ruin a good thing by going back to the young sidekick and female companion formula that almost fucked up the trilogy without the added benefit of a little chinese kid that spouts quotable one-liners? Edit: I actually saw this one and it was an abomination.

You Don't Mess With the Zohan
Oh Adam Sandler, how I wish you had pulled a Chris Farley and died in a drug induced stupor so we could all turn a wrongfully nostalgic eye on Billy Madison and Happy Gilmore, smile knowingly at each other, and declare you one of America's greatest comedic minds. I'll cencede that Punch Drunk Love was decent because of the way it humanized his mentally challenged man-child persona (plus it had the added benefit of not actually being a film that he had a hand in creating), but I can't help but continually be more and more unimpressed by everything he comes out with.

Kung Fu Panda
I can't imagine anyone who's still intrigued by the concept of 3D animals in wacky situations. Penguins that dance? NO WAY! A bee that sues honey manufacturers? NO WAY! A goofy pair of woodland creatures that must save the forest? NO WAY! I'll admit that Jack Black has some notable comedic chops, but he only shines in small budget films that he'll never get recognition for and bit parts as comedic relief. In the end serious critique of a cartoon is trivial. I'm over five years old and finding it unfunny is about as inevitable as the world ending in 2012 (That's right, its going to happen. Mark my words, people).

The Incredible Hulk
No! Bad Stan Lee! Bad! I guess we didn't rub his nose in Hulk hard enough because he's allowed another turd to drop onto our brand new carpet. It's valiently attempting to right Ang Lee's undeniable wrong by making it a pure action-fest. Maybe they'll pull it off, but I can't for the life of me forgive this franchise for wasting my money the first time around.

Get Smart
I guess Steve Carell senses some inevitable downturn in his career because he's quickly becoming good friends with high paying shit-fests. There is no need for the Get Smart franchise to be dug up. It's not like it's still popular, it's not like the Bewitched remake was sucessful, it's not like the Honeymooners remake was sucessful. Maybe a big studio executive hired a numerologist who assured him that, "The third time's a charm." I hope Carell keeps throwing in some good films in between the cash-jobs because he does have some actual talent.

The Love Guru
Mike Myers, ewww. Wayne's World was funny despite him. Never forget it.

Hellboy II
The first Hellboy was decent, but only because it was so set on playing it safe. Every action scene, ever line a character uttered, every conveniently placed moment of comedic relief. It all fit snugly like two lego blocks. It didn't bother me too much when I first sat through it, but the more I think about it the more it bothers me. It's like picking at a scab. You just want to let it go, but you keep poking and scratching until you eventually have a big festering hole in your body. That's what Hellboy is, no matter how much you want it to be something healthy it eventually turns into an ugly scar.

Also, Philip Seymore Hoffman, if you're reading this, just name the time and the place.

And now a finished product.

Clearly I have a warped sense of humor and play too many videogames. Apply a "Your princess is in another castle," caption as you see fit.